1．如果漂亮可以当饭吃，我这估计是要饿死的节奏。

1. If beauty can be used as food, I think it's the rhythm of starvation.

可盐可甜的句子

2．我要稳稳的分数，能抵挡考试的残酷。

2. I want a stable score to withstand the cruelty of the exam.

3．吃货都是善良的，因为每天只想着吃，没时间去算计别人。

3. It's kind to eat, because I only want to eat every day, and I don't have time to calculate others.

4．时间就像乳沟，只要一躺下就什么都没有了！

4. Time is like a cleavage. As long as you lie down, you have nothing!

5．考试考这么多年了，怎么不搞个周年庆，比如考四十送二十，过两科送一科，任选两科免考。

5. After so many years of examination, how can we not celebrate the anniversary? For example, twenty for forty, one for two, and two for free.

6．今天警察又来找我了，说我再帅一点又要把我抓进去了。

6. Today, the police came to me again and said that if I was a little more handsome, I would be arrested again.

7．你的嘴巴可真甜啊你怎么知道！你一定偷亲了对不对！

7. How do you know your mouth is so sweet! You must have stolen the kiss, right!

8．被子生病了，总觉得我应该留在床上照顾它。

8. When the quilt is ill, I always think I should stay in bed to take care of it.

9．义无反顾的奔向我的梦想：三好学生，好吃、好玩、好睡。

9. Go to my dream without hesitation: three good students, delicious, fun and good sleep.

10．上课时，数学老师写了满满一黑板难题的解题过程，我抄的手都要断了的时候，他在黑板上打了一个大叉然后说道：这种解法是错误的！卧槽！

10. In class, the math teacher wrote a process full of blackboard problems. When I was about to cut off my copy hand, he made a big fork on the blackboard and said: this solution is wrong! what the fuck!

11．老师：Boy的复数形式是什么？学生：Gay。

Teacher: what's the plural of boy? Student: gay.

12．以后谁敢欺负我，就把你们名字写鞋垫上，每天踩死你，丫的。

12. Whoever dares to bully me in the future will write your name on the insole and trample you to death every day, ya.

13．尽量撮合身边同学，以后会省很多份子钱。

13. Try to match your classmates and save a lot of money in the future.

14．有一种思念叫做望穿秋水，有一种寒冷叫做忘穿秋裤。

14. There is a kind of missing called looking forward to the autumn, and there is a kind of cold called forgetting to wear autumn pants.

15．当你缺钱时，能拿出300的是同事，能拿出500的是亲戚，能拿出1000的是兄弟姐妹，能拿出10000的是父母！但能唯一拿出10万、20万甚至50万的，只有高利贷。

15. When you are short of money, you can take out 300 colleagues, 500 relatives, 1000 brothers and sisters, and 10000 parents! But the only one that can offer 100000, 200000 or even 500000 is usury.

16．我能摸摸你的校徽么你竟然把袭胸说得这么清新脱俗！

16. Can I touch your school badge? How can you say it's so fresh and refined!

17．监考老师+地理位置+周边同学的关系=考试成绩

17. Invigilator teacher + geographical location + relationship between surrounding students = test scores

18．台湾还没收复，我哪有心情写作业。

18. Taiwan hasn't been recovered yet. I'm not in the mood to do my homework.

19．待我长发及腰，遮住一身肥膘。纵然虎背熊腰，也要高冷傲娇。

19. when my hair achieves waist length, I hide my body fat. Even if you are a tiger, you should be tall, cold and proud.

20．教你看别人的QQ密码：随便点个好友，在QQ对话框中，输入我是两字，不要发送。再按住ALT键，然后顺序按小键盘29482，松开ALT键，再按ALT键+S，你的对话栏中将会出现方QQ密码，成功率99%！

20. Teach you to see other people's QQ password: click a friend casually, in the QQ dialog box, input I am two words, do not send. Press and hold ALT key, then press the keypad 29482 in sequence, release ALT key, and then press ALT key + S. the QQ password will appear in your dialogue bar, with a success rate of 99%!

21．这个世界少你一个不少，多你一个好吵。

21. There is a lot less for you and a lot more for you in this world.

22．当别人说我;你好娘;的时候我该怎么反击？你好儿子！

22. How can I fight back when people say I'm your mother? Hello son!

23．考试就像大姨妈，有时候会推迟两天，但肯定会来。

23. Exams are like aunts. Sometimes they are postponed for two days, but they will definitely come.

24．世界上最痛苦的事就是从上课憋尿憋到下课，结果老师还拖堂。

24. The most painful thing in the world is from the suffocation of urine in class to the end of class. As a result, the teacher still drags the class.

25．本想把日子过成诗，时而简单，时而精致。不料日子却过成了我唱的歌，时而不靠谱，时而不着调。

25. I wanted to make life a poem, sometimes simple, sometimes delicate. Unexpectedly, life has become a song I sing, sometimes not reliable, sometimes not in tune.

26．我也想做一个优雅的淑女，可是生活把老娘逼成了泼妇。

26. I also want to be an elegant lady, but life makes me a shrew.

27．亲爱的，你可得一定要相信我啊，我连坐船都头晕，更何况是脚踏两只船呢。

27. Honey, you must believe me. I'm dizzy even when I'm on a boat, let alone on two.

28．爱迪生与一对情侣去逛街，回家后就发明了电灯泡。

28. Edison went shopping with a couple and came home to invent the light bulb.

29．以前考60分就像死了爹一样，现在考60分就像当了爹一样。

29. In the past, 60 points was like a dead father. Now 60 points is like a father.

30．带女友去游乐场坐过山车，别人的女友：啊~啊~好恐怖啊！我的女友：哎呦卧槽，哎呦卧槽！

30. Take your girlfriend to the amusement park to take a roller coaster. Someone else's girlfriend: ah ~ ah ~ how horrible! My girlfriend: ouch, ouch!