1. 总有一个人狠狠教训你，让你知道你是谁。

1. Someone will teach you a lesson to let you know who you are.

逗比说说都这么发

2. 老师问：滴水之恩相于涌泉相报是什么意思同学：就是别人弹你一滴水，你拿一桶水泼死他

2. The teacher asked: what do you mean by the grace of a drop of water and the reward of a gushing spring

3. 我一定要在你平庸无奇的人生里，做一个闪闪发光的神经病。

3. I must be a shining neuropathy in your ordinary life.

4. 穿别人的鞋走别人的路，让别人既找不到鞋又找不到路。

4. Wear other people's shoes and walk on other people's roads, so that others can neither find shoes nor roads.

5. 你的长相，影响了我滴健康成长。

5. Your appearance has affected my healthy growth.

6. 醒是一回事，起床又是一回事。

6. Waking up is one thing, getting up is another.

7. 抄答案的最高境界，抄了半天抄跑题了。

7. Copy the highest level of the answer. It's been a long time.

8. 此人已死，小事烧香，大事挖坟。

8. The man is dead. Small things burn incense and big things dig graves.

9. 在家的时候发烧还会坚持上网，上学的时候打个喷嚏都会觉得是癌症晚期。

9. When I have a fever at home, I still insist on surfing the Internet. When I sneeze at school, I think it's terminal cancer.

10. 世人笑我神经病，我笑世人太可怜。

10. The world laughs at my insanity. I laugh at the world's pity.

11. 有些建议要给你，都是以前别人给我的，反正我也没用过。

11. Some suggestions are for you. They were given to me before. Anyway, I haven't used them.

12. 包大人，为什么你额头上有个月亮，因为白天不懂爷的黑。

12. Lord Bao, why do you have a moon on your forehead, because you don't know ye's black in the daytime.

13. 自从谈了场恋爱，腰不痛了，头不痛了，心脏也不跳了。

13. Since we fell in love, we have no pain in waist, head and heart.

14. 不是我说话拐弯，是你脑细胞衰竭拐不过弯。

14. It's not that I'm talking, it's that your brain cells fail to turn.

15. 在街上看美女，目光高一点就是欣赏，目光低一点就是流氓。

15. When you look at a beautiful woman in the street, if you look higher, you will appreciate it. If you look lower, you will be a hooligan.

16. 等我有钱了，日日到移动大楼买联通卡！

16. When I have money, I will buy Unicom card in mobile building every day!

17. 你要好好活着，为了希望你好好活着的人，也为了希望你赶紧死的人。

17. You should live well, for those who want you to live well, and for those who want you to die quickly.

18. 如果有一天我被你伤死了，那么我做鬼也不会放过你。

18. If I am injured by you one day, I will not let you go.

19. 多希望可以屏蔽腾讯消息，至少不会让我空欢喜。

19. I hope to block Tencent News, at least not to make me happy.

20. 我谈过最长的恋爱，就是自恋。

20. The longest love I've ever had is narcissism.