据说,那些长期单身的姑娘渐渐都活成了自己最想嫁的男人的样子。
屁精的搞笑说说
It is said that the long-term single girls gradually become the most wanted to marry men.
小时候要被妈妈打时，总会说一句去拿一个衣架来，放心我不打你。
When I want to be beaten by my mother as a child, I always say to get a coat hanger. Don't worry if I don't beat you.
一白遮三丑，一高遮五丑，一瘦遮七丑，一富遮百丑，一胖毁所有。
One white covers three ugly, one tall covers five ugly, one thin covers seven ugly, one rich covers all ugly, one fat destroys all.
春天是一个懒洋洋的季节。不要把上课睡觉说的那么含蓄。
Spring is a lazy season. Don't talk so implicitly about sleeping in class.
看到我讨厌的人长的这么丑 我瞬间就原谅她了 我就是这么nice的人
I'll forgive the person I hate for being so ugly. I'm such a nice person
你今年的愿望是什么,我的愿望是做一枚安静的咸鸭蛋！闲的要命，富的流油。
What's your wish this year? My wish is to be a quiet salted duck egg! Idle life, rich flow of oil.
如果你们嫌作业多的话就去跟老师说。这样一来。。你们的作业就更多了。
If you don't think you have too much homework, go and tell the teacher. thus.. You have more homework.
肉长我身上,你凭什么管我。
If the meat grows on me, why do you care.
请问系统,你在开玩笑吗?
Excuse me system, are you kidding?
我的大爆炸时尚时尚最时尚。
My big bang fashion is the most fashionable.
人家有背景我只有背影。
I have a background, but I only have my back.
楚留香处处留香，我却处处留情
Chu Liuxiang leaves fragrance everywhere, but I leave it everywhere
今天天气好晴朗，处处都是萌妹纸。
It's a fine day today. There are cute girls' papers everywhere.
初中同学就是一群掌握你黑历史的禽兽。
Junior high school students are a group of animals that master your black history.
每次拉屎的时候想你一遍我想用不了多久我就你把你彻底排除体外了。
Every time I think of you when I shit, I think it won't take long for me to get rid of you completely.
《喜羊羊》和《西游记》很像，都是每集被抓住，但肯定不会被吃掉。
"Pleasant goat" and "journey to the west" are very similar, each episode is caught, but will not be eaten.
姑娘我很傲，前凸又后翘。
Girl, I'm very proud. I'm forward and backward.
站在人生的米字路口，我更加彷徨。
Standing at the crossroad of life, I am more hesitating.
网速虐我千百遍，我待网速如初恋。
Internet speed abuse me thousands of times, I treat Internet speed as first love.
我没胖对不对?嗯对你只是肿了!
I'm not fat, am I? Yeah, you're just swollen!
你除了吃还会什么？ 还会饿！
What else can you eat? And hungry!
我一直以为空气是免费的，直到那天我买了包薯片。
I thought the air was free until I bought a bag of chips that day.
你的脸就像皇上他娘！什么意思太后（厚）
Your face is like the emperor's mother! What do you mean empress dowager (thick)
感谢在别人都离我而去的时候你也不落队的把我丢下 .
Thank you for not leaving me when everyone else left me
回忆太多把我脑子弄糊涂了 说人话 这道题不会
I'm confused by too many memories. I can't talk to others
世界上的一切问题，都能用关你屁事和关我屁事来回答。突然感觉屁好忙。
All the questions in the world can be answered with nothing to do with you or me. Suddenly I feel very busy.
情敌掉水怎么办我会跳下去原来你那么善良不是 我会在她面前游来游去
What should I do if the enemy falls into the water? I'll jump down. You're so kind. I'm not going to swim around in front of her
既然不想在一起，那当初为什么要和我合影？ 我再警告你一遍！能不能不拿毕业照说事！
Since I don't want to be together, why did I take a picture with me? I'll warn you again! Can we talk about it without taking graduation photos!
"你经常丢的三件东西是什么？脸，爸妈的脸，老师的脸。
"What are the three things you often lose? Face, parents' face, teachers' face.
你，是做什么的？我是卖辣条的
What do you do? I'm a spicy guy
同桌你听，我的肚子里好像有小宝宝在踢我 说人话 劳资饿了
At the same table, you can hear that there seems to be a baby kicking me in my stomach. I'm hungry
友谊是什么 你智障多年 我却不离不弃
What is friendship? You have been mentally retarded for many years, but I never give up
为什么对我这么好我敬你是条汉子
Why are you so nice to me? I'm a man
别咬我 小心我开门放狗 我家养了三条狗。
Don't bite me. I opened the door and let the dog go. I have three dogs.
为什么你们总是考不过隔壁班 因为隔壁班不是你教的
Why do you always fail in the next class? Because you didn't teach the next class
学霸和学渣的区别：学霸：我去考试。学渣：我去！考试
The difference between learning bully and learning slag: learning bully: I will take the exam. Xuezao: I'll go! examination
一个人吃饭的时候会感到孤单，但一个人吃零食的时候就不会！！我竟无言以对。
A person will feel lonely when eating, but a person will not eat snacks!! I was speechless.